A Box Of Misanthropy

Before I start blithering aimlessly about the crimes of humanity, I'd like to cover something I touched on vaguely in my first post. That is, the average person's view of Misanthropy and what entails.

From my standpoint, it seems to me that when the average person thinks of a Misanthrope, they think of either:

1. angsty teens who really have nothing better to do than sit on their butts and complain that the world sucks while slitting their wrists and listening to whatever shit passes for music these days. Yes, I'm talking to YOU, emo and goth kids.

Or

2. grumpy old men who sit on their front porches grumbling about the good old days and yelling at the neighbor's kids to keep off his lawn. You know, like Ebenezer Scrooge.

Well, okay, #2 is probably more an example of a cynic (and Scrooge was a dick, you have to give him that), but my point is that people have a skewed view on who Misanthropes are as a whole.

Let me touch on #1, though. Angsty teens aren't misanthropes, they're just brats. Sure, you can bring up hormones and puberty and all that shit and say it's messing with their minds like a bad acid trip, but you have to admit that there are some kids (I'm tempted to say "most" here because teenagers think they're entitled to everything) who pull the whole misanthropic, whiny, spoiled shit to get attention from people. These children apparently exist in such numbers that those who actually are depressed (even I admit that prolonged periods of sadness, desolation, isolation, and various other -olations are bad; it's one thing to be sad, and entirely another to feel like you're trapped in a mineshaft with no way out) get negative press. Even the Boxtop has been accused of teenage angst (even by the bitch who cheated on him) despite the fact that HE IS 22, DUMBSHITS.

As for emo and goth kids, these people aren't misanthropes either. These subcultures wear their misanthropy like they do a t-shirt: it's something they can take off and put back on at will. To these people, "misanthropy" is a fad, as if it's the "in thing" to be a dark, brooding pussy. Goth and emo kids are what make real misanthropes look like tools. "Go cry, emo kid" indeed.

What's worse, there's a subset of people out there who believe that misanthropes are sociopathic, violent killers like Seung-Hui Cho, who're vying to shoot up a school near you. These sociopaths (or "troubled youth" as the media likes to call them) aren't misanthropes. They've got the potential to be misanthropes, but most of these people are socially awkward individuals who are hanging by one single thread of reality. These people have been pushed to the breaking point by years of abuse from their family and peers that they eventually go apeshit. I wouldn't be surprised if people labeled me as such a lunatic.

However, even though not all misanthropes can be classified as lunatics, that doesn't stop people from being so afraid of their kids going crazy that they hop them up on drugs and demand that they suck it up and deal.

By now, if you haven't closed your browser or flagged this page, you're probably thinking, "Boxtop, you anorexic walrus, what is a misanthrope to you?" Well, disembodied voice from nowhere, I admit I am no authority on misanthropy, and defining misanthropy would take more time and focus than my ADHD-rattled brain would be willing to compensate me for, so I'm going to list some of the qualities I share as a misanthrope (since I'm so awesome):

1. I have an extreme hatred of humanity to the point where I loathe being around people.
2. I believe that humans are incapable of kindness, compassion, generosity, and such other "positive" traits.
3. For any "good" deed a human does do, there's always an ulterior motive, e.g. someone doing good deeds because it makes them "feel good."
4. No person can be 100% trusted; "no friend a friend".

I feel that most misanthropes share at least two of these traits (if not 2&3, then 1&4), but I'll discuss that in more detail later. When I feel like it. Maybe.

TL;DR version: the public's view of misanthropy is wrong, so stop making assumptions about us and go make me a sandwich.

In school, I was taught that the way for a writer to get the reader to keep reading his book was to wow the reader on the first page.

Well, I say fuck that shit. You either like me or you don't, so let's spare the pleasantries and get down to business.

I am Boxtop, and I am a misanthrope. I'm not a misanthrope because it's cool, or because I'm part of a lame subculture, or because I'm all angsty because Mommy wouldn't buy me some popular piece of shit that I really don't need but I want anyway because everyone has it and I'll stick out like melanoma if I don't have it. I am a misanthrope because I actively hate humanity and believe that no good can come from the idiots humanity consists of.

The following posts in this blog will consist of rants and rants masquerading as philosophical musings (you know, the kind of stuff Plato would write if he had a pole up his butt), and I'll update this thing whenever my ADHD allows it. You may find my posts unintelligible and disjointed, but that's just the way I roll, so deal with it.

So sit tight, because once you've opened the Box of Misanthropy, not even duct tape can keep it shut.